DEAR CLAIRE 2015

Though I love Christmas, if I'm really honest, I find this time of year to be filled with all kinds of pressures on my time and my general well-being that I don't feel as much during the rest of the year.

One of them is to have an extended family to take up copious amounts of the time in between Christmas and New Year's, and of course to tell hilarious eye-roll inducing anecdotes about to everyone in the first days of January. The other is to have a huge friendship group to spend the other portions of my time with.

If I'm honest I spend most of the Christmas/New Year period by myself. I spent a lot of that time sleeping. If I'm really honest I'm too exhausted by now to imagine that anything else could have worked without me collapsing by January 2nd.

I also think that this period is rife with people telling you to think about yourself and the ways you want to change.

So based on these few things, I'd like to send my own incredibly non-reflection inducing messages into the new year of 2015, for myself, and anyone else who might find them useful.

xx

Dear 2015 Claire, 

First of all, please take your make-up off every night. You never get home later than 9 so the fact that you get into bed straight away and never get up again, whilst understandable, is making you spotty. It's taken ten long years to get your skin into this state, stop ruining it for us.

Next, do more exercise, or don't. And eat better...or don't. You do whatever the hell you want as long as you promise to love yourself and feel happy in your own skin every single day. Keep on blowing metaphorical (and literal) raspberries in the face of '#fitspo' and '#strongisthenewskinny' and you go running to clear your head and help you sleep better and if you don't like it just stay in bed and read books and watch shit TV and eat to your heart's content. Basically keep doing what you're doing. 

I do want you to do one thing though, well really it's more like two things. I want you to write more, and read more. Those are the things you really love and I want you to dedicate more time to them please. You'll be loads happier and more confident in your potential, I promise. 

We're probably still going to be stony-ass broke by this time next year, so don't worry about travelling or seeing more of the world or any of that crap. You focus on moving out and visiting your friends and stuff that will promote your emotional well-being and the relationships you put so much work into so far with the people you love. You don't need to find yourself, you're fine.

You don't smoke and you don't drink. Good job. Pretty sure we'll keep that up. 

You're fairly good at saving money. You've paid for everything yourself so far so you have everyone reason to be proud of yourself for that if nothing else. And no overdraft. 

You're really, really good at kicking out people who don't treat you properly and don't love and respect you. You carry on doing that scary-side of Claire. Carry on being an absolute, unforgiving bitch when it's necessary. 

You're also really, really good at loving other people. And you can carry on with that until the cows come home. You can do the aforementioned scary-Claire shit because you know what you deserve and you deserve care. I hope that by this time next year you're still texting the same people at midnight that you'll be texting tonight. You put everything into those relationships because the people you have them with are amazing. They're worth it and so are you. 

You got good grades! And you're trying really hard and you love your subject. Everything you ever wanted since you made that careers presentation in Year 12 and someone laughed when you said you wanted to get a PhD is so so close.* You can do it. 

You don't need to be better, in any way, you're fine as you are. You just keep on going just like you are.

I'm so proud of you, I hope you're proud of you this time next year too. 

Lots and lots of love, 

Claire 

xx

*I did not make life decisions and direct my career in this direction just because someone laughed at me when I was 17. But I am very excited about achieving what they thought I couldn't nonetheless. 

Am I A 'Basic Bitch'?

Spoiler alert: Probably.

I hate the term 'basic'. No, actually, I don't. I hate the 2014 internet use of the term 'basic'. I hate that instead of being an insult you throw at someone you don't respect it's now used by everyone and their dog to trivialise women.
I hate it almost as much as I hate having my desire to have a meaningful conversation with a female friend reduced down to 'talking about boys' by a male acquaintance.
Both of these things trivialise me and my feelings, and both of them stop me from expressing that I'm comfortable with myself because they take aspects of who I am and use them to make me sound like a mindless moron.

So this post comes in response to this article entitled: 50 Signs You're Dating A Basic Bitch, obviously meant to serve as a warning to any man who's dating a girl that might enjoy, well, anything. After all, everyone knows that anyone who likes things is basically an idiot. Now let's take a look and see if I am a 'basic bitch', or if I'm actually a 22-year old woman with numerous jobs and a master's degree as well as the ability to maintain strong personal relationships.
My money would be on both but everyone knows women can't be more than one thing at once because we don't get to be complex like that.

1. My casual outfits would suggest that I'm not going anywhere, They are 100% fleece. I don't own any UGG boots but I do own slippers that resemble them, and I've worn them with shorts and a hoodie before for sure.
2. I do go to Starbucks. I'm not sure I have much affection for the place per se but I definitely go whenever I'm at work because it's next door. I don't think the baristas know me but I do know them.
3. Okay you've got me I actually hate Paris.
4. I don't own a cowboy hat. I do love Taylor Swift.
5. I would really like to do yoga. I have talked about it and I'll probably never go.
6. I do own underwear from Victoria's Secret.
7. I don't really know how you'd define the colour of your underwear as 'ridiculous' or not.
8. I do keep things that have sentimental value. I think that might be less 'basic' and more valuing other people and your memories with them.
9. I have no interest in Zumba.
10. I don't think I can speak Spanish. I can speak French. It's not embarrassing because I CAN speak French. Who even says they can speak languages that they can't speak?
11. I probably would be a 'woo girl'. I'm presuming that just means a girl who says 'woo' when she's drunk.
12. It's definitely okay to be upset if an actor you like dies.
13. I have seen wedding-proposal videos on YouTube. I have enjoyed them.
14. I don't fancy Channing Tatum.
15. I do use the term 'girl crush', because other women are beautiful.
16. I don't have a 'wild side' as oppose to any other 'side'. I am a complex person and I have done numerous things as a result.
17. I wish I could afford MAC make up.
18. When I was unemployed and home during the day I watched Real Housewives. I'm not any more so I don't. That's the only reason.
19. I've been told I am Jess from New Girl. I'm really just clumsy.
20. I do own and wear lip gloss.
21. I do both love to laugh and love to have fun. I don't have a dating profile.
22. I'm not particularly religious. I think you can still be spiritual anyway.
23. Okay I don't drink but there's nothing to say I wouldn't drink cocktails of all varieties if I did.
24. I didn't go to Vegas with my girls but I have been to Ibiza and we definitely used the hashtag '#whathappensinibiza'.
25. I don't have stuff with words like 'peace' or 'love' on them.
26. I don't own anything that says 'Keep Calm' on it.
27. Chances are she might actually be a fan of Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn, or maybe just like iconic photography, or both.
28. Also completely fine to like inspirational quotes. Although there is a post coming on how healthy and useful I think they are if you're genuinely struggling.
29. I just like chicken. I didn't realise that was a social gesture.
30. I haven't seen ALL Wes Anderson films, I do really want to.
31. I don't check my horoscope.
32. Yep everyone knows that not finding jokes about rape funny means you have ZERO sense of humour.
33. I'm pretty sure no one says 'the P-word' or 'the C-word' because there are about 20 different versions of those particular words you would use instead.
34. Not red roses, and they're not my favourites.
35. No one describes themselves as 'traditional' and describing women as 'classy' is just one of the thousands of ways we've been taught to hate each other. Like describing each other as 'basic'.
36. Yep, everything does happen for a reason.
37. I don't have Pintrest.
38. It's okay to be interested in both jewellery and the aesthetics of weddings.
39. I don't like rom coms. 
40. I don't like The Hills.
41. I think everyone has the 'Hey Girl' book.
42. I do love to bake.
43. I do love cakes and frozen yoghurt.
44. #fitspo makes me gag.
45. Sick of being told that enjoying something must mean I'm 'obsessed' with it.
46. I could tell you of good self-tanners.
47. I really like brunch. It's an extra meal what's not to like.
48. I'm always dressing as a sexy ___, Halloween or not.
49. Let's make women who aren't interested in politics right now feel insecure about it, that will help.
50. Did you hear about her morning sickness? And her complete lack of privacy? No one really wants to be Kate Middleton.

Overall, it's looking pretty basic.

Actually it's not, it's just looking like I enjoy some things and don't enjoy others and in that sense I am like every other person on the planet because I have opinions on things.

I don't know how we made liking things into a way to trivialise and demean women but that's quite an achievement so maybe we should be proud of ourselves.

We shouldn't, that's fucking awful.

xx