Stepping Away from the Screen

I spend about 75% of my waking minutes in front of a computer screen. I wish that was an over-exaggeration but it isn't. I'm writing my thesis, doing my job and running this blog all at once and all of those require interaction with a computer and a smartphone.

I'm not gonna spend time here preaching about the inability of our generation to have meaningful face-to-face conversation, or how we can't enjoy what's in front of us, or how we're selfish. Mainly because I hate shit like that, I have plenty of meaningful IRL times with the people around me, and on my rare (and I mean very rare) days off I delight in leaving my phone hidden away in the bottom of my bag except for photo documentation purposes. It just so happens that I'm exceptionally busy and the things I do that make me busy all need a computer to do them.

That being said I am starting to feel the strain on my eyes, and my concentration levels. All this 24/7 blue light isn't doing it for me. Your brain needs change and challenge to work to the best of its ability and although it probably feels regularly challenged you need to use all of it. There's no doubt that I write better now I do it on a continuous basis, but that's also in part because I invested in some notebooks and I take myself away from the screen now. There's something about blank pages that inspire you in a way a blank Word document just can't.

This new alignment in all of my activities has presented a problem with the ways I used to switch off. Reading includes words and although I still love my time with a good book I have to say that I have to be more in the mood for it than I used to when I worked in retail. Watching anything film or TV wise is sometimes the last thing I want to do and more than often just makes me fall asleep too early. I have perfected the 7pm-9pm nap and then straight back to bed at 11pm, but that's nothing to be proud of.

So here's a quick run down of the things I started doing to give myself a bit of a break from the back-light.

Taking handwritten notes
I cannot tell you how much nicer this is when it comes to essay writing. I have to spend a lot of the time I'm actually writing crying over my laptop so it's nice to start that process in pen and paper rather than creating lots of digital pages I can never find and can't keep in one physical place. Even better, keeping a file of my notes makes me feel like I've done loads of work, even when I haven't, and it's incredibly satisfying to see after a month of thesis- related researching that I actually have something to show for it. Plus it's better memory-wise because you eventually have to process all that information in ink into a digital copy anyway.

Making mood-boards
This is actually how this whole mission to do more with my hands than just tapping on a keyboard began. I was asked to make a mood-board for a job interview and the process of cutting and sticking and arranging was probably the most relaxing and enjoyable hours I'd had in a very long time. It was that activity which alerted me to the fact that writing isn't the only way I can express myself, Being tactile and having something you can actually do with your hands which requires concentration and doesn't include words is so important. Plus it allows me to explore my interests in a different way, and helps remind me that fashion is really, more than anything, just about clothes.

Running
Or walking. Or anything really that involves your body rather than your brain. I've had some of my best ideas (and a lot of writers block breakthroughs) whilst my legs have been working instead of my hands and eyes. Admittedly it's been a while since I ran, but I like to think that the mile each way from the city centre to university that I walk nearly every day still counts for something, and it's still one of my favourite parts of any day.

Colouring
Hopefully one day to be 'drawing', but you have to start somewhere and I certainly didn't start in Year 9 art class. It's never too late to pick up an artistic hobby though and since I'm not thinking of a career in portraiture it's a nice no-pressure way to spend my time (i.e. it doesn't matter if it's not very good). The benefits of colouring for adults have been well recorded and I'm hoping the concentration needed alongside the enjoyment I should get from it will bring me a bit of peace of mind as well as giving my self a well-needed change from a screen of back-lit colour,

Cooking
Basically as far away from writing as you could get, no writing implement or paper or even noise to be found. This is also the one with the most satisfying end result, you either get a great meal or a cake to be shared with everyone you know. Making you popular and relaxed.

Reading in pictures
It's no exaggeration to say that graphic novels have changed my life. The text isn't line after line of a font I spend every day looking at (I see you, Times New Roman), and there are pictures and not everything is in grey-scale and my eyes eat that up. I keep reading and I keep learning and I write better for it, but I do it in a way that allows my brain to change pace and process that information differently.


xx

Good Vibes Sunday #27

I did it! 

Apart from that, this week was a week of internal screaming. 

Here's to next week.

xx

Halfway Reflection [Dear Claire 2.0]

Dear Half-Way 2015 Claire,

6 months down, 6 months to go. Let's see how you're doing.

Let's cut to the chase and say you're doing so well to even still be standing. This year was so bad in ways you could have anticipated and also ways you really couldn't. You might say that it all still feels pretty bad, I would agree. The thing is though, that it's just the same things that are still a bit worse than you wanted them to be.

So you're still grieving, of course, and you're still heart-broken. So what? Maybe those things will just take a little longer than 6 months to fix, and hopefully we'll be writing a very different letter by the end of the year. I think you should be proud of yourself, and I know you are, but you also can't fix everything. You made friends, friends who want to see you and live with you and talk to you all the time. You got rid of people that didn't want to do any of those things (or didn't deserve any of those things) and life might have fallen apart around you but your family is still standing and you still have a job.

Stay measured and stay honest. Stay emotionally open. Stay completely intolerant to anything or anyone that doesn't make you happy. Try and stay positive, I know every day feels like a bit of a challenge but in a couple of months everything will be so different, and probably a lot more structured. Plus you'll have your own place again, and a full-time job.

You know this year has simultaneously been the best and worst year of your life so far, and I think that's a pretty good sign. There are no 'good' or 'bad' years, or months, or weeks, or days. There are only the things you build and the things you can't control.

You're not going to get what you really want by changing the way you are. You're certainly not going to get it by only considering one course of action and refusing to admit that you might have been wrong. You haven't committed to anything yet but by the end of this year you might have to. It's gonna be a big decision with big implications so make sure you do a lot of soul-searching. Discuss it with everyone around you to verbalise it, because that will help you. Take no advice though, because only you have to live with it so what everyone else thinks doesn't matter.

Goddammit girl please take your make-up off every night.

Read more! And do more stuff that doesn't involve words! Write more in between!

Stay strong girl, you're doing so good.

Claire
xx

Good Vibes Sunday #26

xx