Dear Half-Way 2015 Claire,
6 months down, 6 months to go. Let's see how you're doing.
Let's cut to the chase and say you're doing so well to even still be standing. This year was so bad in ways you could have anticipated and also ways you really couldn't. You might say that it all still feels pretty bad, I would agree. The thing is though, that it's just the same things that are still a bit worse than you wanted them to be.
So you're still grieving, of course, and you're still heart-broken. So what? Maybe those things will just take a little longer than 6 months to fix, and hopefully we'll be writing a very different letter by the end of the year. I think you should be proud of yourself, and I know you are, but you also can't fix everything. You made friends, friends who want to see you and live with you and talk to you all the time. You got rid of people that didn't want to do any of those things (or didn't deserve any of those things) and life might have fallen apart around you but your family is still standing and you still have a job.
Stay measured and stay honest. Stay emotionally open. Stay completely intolerant to anything or anyone that doesn't make you happy. Try and stay positive, I know every day feels like a bit of a challenge but in a couple of months everything will be so different, and probably a lot more structured. Plus you'll have your own place again, and a full-time job.
You know this year has simultaneously been the best and worst year of your life so far, and I think that's a pretty good sign. There are no 'good' or 'bad' years, or months, or weeks, or days. There are only the things you build and the things you can't control.
You're not going to get what you really want by changing the way you are. You're certainly not going to get it by only considering one course of action and refusing to admit that you might have been wrong. You haven't committed to anything yet but by the end of this year you might have to. It's gonna be a big decision with big implications so make sure you do a lot of soul-searching. Discuss it with everyone around you to verbalise it, because that will help you. Take no advice though, because only you have to live with it so what everyone else thinks doesn't matter.
Goddammit girl please take your make-up off every night.
Read more! And do more stuff that doesn't involve words! Write more in between!
Stay strong girl, you're doing so good.
Claire
xx
Let's cut to the chase and say you're doing so well to even still be standing. This year was so bad in ways you could have anticipated and also ways you really couldn't. You might say that it all still feels pretty bad, I would agree. The thing is though, that it's just the same things that are still a bit worse than you wanted them to be.
So you're still grieving, of course, and you're still heart-broken. So what? Maybe those things will just take a little longer than 6 months to fix, and hopefully we'll be writing a very different letter by the end of the year. I think you should be proud of yourself, and I know you are, but you also can't fix everything. You made friends, friends who want to see you and live with you and talk to you all the time. You got rid of people that didn't want to do any of those things (or didn't deserve any of those things) and life might have fallen apart around you but your family is still standing and you still have a job.
Stay measured and stay honest. Stay emotionally open. Stay completely intolerant to anything or anyone that doesn't make you happy. Try and stay positive, I know every day feels like a bit of a challenge but in a couple of months everything will be so different, and probably a lot more structured. Plus you'll have your own place again, and a full-time job.
You know this year has simultaneously been the best and worst year of your life so far, and I think that's a pretty good sign. There are no 'good' or 'bad' years, or months, or weeks, or days. There are only the things you build and the things you can't control.
You're not going to get what you really want by changing the way you are. You're certainly not going to get it by only considering one course of action and refusing to admit that you might have been wrong. You haven't committed to anything yet but by the end of this year you might have to. It's gonna be a big decision with big implications so make sure you do a lot of soul-searching. Discuss it with everyone around you to verbalise it, because that will help you. Take no advice though, because only you have to live with it so what everyone else thinks doesn't matter.
Goddammit girl please take your make-up off every night.
Read more! And do more stuff that doesn't involve words! Write more in between!
Stay strong girl, you're doing so good.
Claire
xx
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