We Need To Talk About Instagram 'Inspiration'.

I've written already about what I do when I'm grumpy, and how I let myself be unhappy and treat myself well and try to value the little things even when everything seems a bit rubbish.

I think that's really important, I think it's good to let yourself be, and to embrace your crappy emotions as much as you embrace your good ones. I think to do otherwise is bad for your mental health and probably likely to make things worse.

I think it's okay to keep on pushing when things are bad but it's also okay to take a day off. More than that it's important to remember that everyone has their own idea of what 'pushing on' is. For some people pushing forwards is just about getting out of bed and leaving the house. Some days you're just going to do the bare minimum and wait for the day to end, and that's completely fine.

So that brings me to our title, and the inspirational quotes that seem to be everywhere at the moment. I feel like I'm constantly being told to 'let go of what hurts you' and that I'll have to 'work for my dreams'.

Well yeah, obviously.

I know I have to get up every day and seize it, I know I shouldn't hold on to people or things who hurt me. I know that to be successful I'm going to have to give it everything I have.

But I'm allowed to have off days. 

Hell, I'm allowed to have off weeks, months, even a whole year.

I don't have to get up and take risks and make every day a wonderful,overwhelming, glory-filled day.

Some days, I'm going to just get through them as best I can and hopefully laugh a little and like I've been a reasonable person to interact with.

Some days, I'm going to straight-up struggle. I embrace those days. I let myself stay home. I let myself do very little work. I let myself be bad-tempered and switch off my phone and feel sorry for myself.

I hold on to people even when they've hurt me. And I remember stupid things I did even though no one else does. I get angry about the way other people have treated me, and I track them down to tell them so.

I hold grudges and rage and I let things get me angry because that's the way I demonstrate that I'm still defending myself even when I've let people treat me badly. I get angry and hold onto bad things because I balance that out by loving and caring and holding onto good people just as strongly.

I live life on my own terms and give myself every chance to be happy but I also give a lot of myself to other people because that's how I measure my success.

I don't always take risks and push myself, mostly I just sit in bed and read books and watch crime drama on TV.

Some days I don't sparkle because I don't damn -well feel like it. Sometimes I just middle; I middle and I look forward to going home. Most days for the last few months just going to sleep and getting back up again in the morning has felt like a significant triumph.

I do have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyonce but I'll be honest, people don't usually offer to let me perform at the Superbowl so it's a bit more difficult more me to get heard.

And I'll be damned if some pictures of sunsets with some faux-mantra printed on them are going to make me feel bad for that.

I hate you inspirational Instagram quotes,
I hate you because you made the default being successful and delighted with life 100% of the time.
I hate you because you put pressure on people who struggle to just hit 50/50 and because you make everyone else lie about how happy they are to live up to you.
I hate you because before you came along I was quite satisfied with my attitude and my personal strength but you make me feel inadequate.
I hate you because you make me feel like my best isn't nearly good enough.
I'm definitely unfollowing you.

And please, God, don't talk to me about #fitspo.

xx

P.S. Feel free to follow me on my instagram here: @clairegillesp
There will be no inspirational quotes or fitspo. 

In fact it's mostly just pictures of my face and things like this: