10 things I've learnt about travelling

 /people who travel/I spend too much time on modes of transport.

1. Your luggage probably doesn't come with a neon sign attached to it, so sometimes people won't see it and will walk into it, this is your fault. 

2. Also sometimes if you don't come with a neon sign attached to you and you're small enough to be looked over, people will walk into you, this is also your fault. 

3. Seats on any form of transport are measured using tiny children, because there is no way even a small adult would have given the okay to seats that size. 

4. Seat reservations are to be taken seriously, and if you've had the impertinence to misread your ticket and sit in the wrong place you deserve to be publicly shamed through a collection of excessively loud declarations of your error and exasperated sighs as you get ready to move. 

5. Some people will crave human contact so badly they will sit next to you even if there is plenty of other space available.

6. Travel is the time to live your dreams. People who sit behind appear me appear to have dreamt of playing percussion (read as: you are not Keith Moon; stop tapping on my chair).

7. If you're carrying a hiking rucksack as opposed to a suitcase, you are obviously a student or on your gap year, and therefore less worthy of the respect or courtesy of everyone around you. 

8. Most children will be quiet most of the time, on the occasion they dare to make noise it is customary to exchange pained glances with everyone around you. 

9. Sometimes all the stars and planets align and you get two seats to yourself  for a whole journey-this is impossible to enjoy at the time however, due to the fear that will grip you at every station that someone might get on and sit down.

10. 99% of the time, everyone has a pretty firm grasp of social convention and knows exactly when it is a appropriate to make conversation and when it is not. That 1% is the worst 2 hours of your life.

But I had a really nice Easter and now it's moving into double figure temperatures (that's right, people of Britain, it's cold in other places too) we can do things outside and I know I've been really bad at this recently but I'll try and get better I swear.

Until next time!
xx

No wonder Colin Farrell hated it.

Bruges I mean. I'm not surprised he wondered if that's what hell was like. After my experience this weekend I'm very much inclined to agree with him.

It started with a waffle. We wanted to share one, but obviously being two people we wanted to eat using separate apparatus. It quickly became apparent this would not be possible. When I first asked for the second set of cutlery I was greeted with 'no'. I thought it was perfectly deadpan, I didn't think he actually meant 'no'. So the very British part of me decided continued to pursue my request, only to be greeted with 'no', again. I looked confused, he stared blankly back and replied with 'If you're sharing the waffle you can share the cutlery'. I wasn't completely convinced that this wasn't a joke until we'd finished our meal alternating with the one set of cutlery we had. Maybe I haven't been in Belgium long enough after all.

Then we had lunch at a place where you can order only drinks but not, it would seem, only food. As we were told 'this is a restaurant, you have to order drinks if you're eating'. Now I've been to plenty of restaurants,in plenty of places, and I'm not entirely sure this is how it works. In fact I know it isn't, because I routinely don't order drinks, especially not in Belgium, because water is very rarely free and I'm yet to start bleeding money. I am however, not routinely thrown out of restaurants.

I think the most depressing part of this story is that even with the €4,50 each we paid for water, the bill still came to less than it would of had we eaten anywhere else.

I also hit an old woman in the face with a door. Although I initially thought I'd knocked over a small child, so breaking an old woman's nose was actually a fairly positive outcome.

Once you get over the emotional trauma though, I guess it's alright. It's really pretty but I was too busy being furious to take any photos.

Oh, and whoever walked past my office on Monday and pressed the intercom button. You pressed it too hard, it got stuck and subsequently set off the doorbell for a good 5 minutes before I worked out what the hell was going on and why all these white plastic phones on the wall were making noise. Some of those phones are in parts of the office I don't have a key for. You better hope I don't find out who you are. You are mine.

On a more serious note, for everyone who has read this, and for all the nice things you've said, thank you very much, it is very much appreciated.

xx